“My mom doesn’t believe my bra size exists.”
“My mother makes me wear a 38B, even though it’s really uncomfortable and I measured myself as a 32E. She says that I’m not ‘that kind of girl’ who would wear an E cup!”
“I tried helping my mom measure herself to convince her that I need a better size too, but she wouldn’t believe that she could be a 36D, since she’s been a ‘B cup all her life’.”
“My mom never takes me bra shopping, she just keeps buying me larger band size in the same cup since I was 13.”
“My mother was horrified when I told her what my correct bra size is.” “My mom made fun of me when I told her I needed a bigger cup size”
We seem to hear stories like this every other day. Usually from teens or college-aged women living at home, or girls JUST out of college engaged to get married (since that is the time mothers really take them out ‘Fancy Lingerie’ shopping). And while I understand this comes from a lack of awareness about sizing and being comfortable with their own old way of doing things, these situations do make me a little upset. For the benefit of this particular post I’m going to assume that most of our readers are not going to be the ‘moms’ in these situations. And I’m going to address the daughters who are having to deal with moms who don’t understand (or care) about proper bra sizes. Bra shopping by itself can be a frustrating process, but it’s made all the more difficult for those of us who are at a stage where we don’t have any money, can’t drive ourselves, and have a mother who’s reluctant to support or help.
Disclaimer: We’re not trying to bash our mothers here. For every mother making fun of her daughter for her bra size, there’s a mom who’s loving and supportive about the subject. And while this particular mother might not understand why this issue is so important it’s only because of lack of awareness, they may be supportive about every other thing in your life. But situations like these are so common that there has to be post about it for young girls to turn to.
If you’ve properly measured yourself and your mom refuses to believe the result…
If you put yourself in your mother’s shoes for a minute, you’ll understand why she’s shocked to hear her baby girl- who she always thought was a 36B is infact a 30E. Understand that this stems from old, improper views on bras. All your mother will be hearing at this point is, “I went from a B cup to an E cup!”, and that is going to sound crazy to her, especially if she thinks that “D cups” are huge, which most Indian women do! But the average bra size has increased all over the world, probably because of the change in lifestyle. In India, the most bought size used to be a 34B, it is now 34C, and this is when most women are wearing a size too small. Try to “braducate” your mother. Explain to her that all B cups are not equal. A simple explanation would be that ‘I have a 30-inch ribcage, and a 7″ difference between my ribcage and bust measurement’. You can try showing her picture examples
of well-fitting bras, explanations of how to measure yourself properly
, the results of a good bra calculator.
If this triggers the “I’m far older than you, have been wearing bras for much longer than you, and I know more about bras than you!” or “This can’t be right. You’re a petite structure, you have to be a B cup.” response, try this-
If your current bras have obvious signs of a bad fit and cause you pain and/or discomfort…
Explain to your mom that you find your current bras extremely uncomfortable and you experience a lot of discomfort because of them. Describe how the band’s riding up or the straps are slipping. Describe how they are painful or annoying rubbing or stabbing that the wires give you. While you’re at it, tell her that there are health risks
of wearing an ill fitted bra. This might get her to take you’re problem a little more seriously, however, she dismisses your concerns with a “Bras are supposed to be like that” kind of response, try…
If your mom remains dismissive, but you sometimes go clothes shopping with her…
Try being sneaky about it, convince her to look at bras with you while you’re both out shopping for clothes – ideally at a place like Marks and Spencers, which will have a better range of sizes, or Lajpat Nagar, which will give you a more options of shops that may keep multiple brands with sizes. You may be able to convince her if you can get your hands on your estimated size and show her how it fits well. It’ll be even better if you go get a proper fitting with her. Try, either at Marks and Spencers or one of the Lifestyle Stores at the mall, to get fitted by a well trained store fitter. If you can’t drag her there, try emailing us
😉 If your mom is at all open to re-thinking her own bra size and getting a proper fitting herself through any of the above places, this will really help your case as well as her.
If your mom won’t go shopping with you, but doesn’t care if you go yourself…
There’s still hope! If you ever go out shopping with friends or by yourself, you can take that time to try on bras and buy yourself something. Then show her what a goo fitting bra is actually like, this may convince her to come around.
If you don’t have the means to buy yourself a bra at all…
The above advice is no good, of course, if you simply don’t have any money to buy yourself a bra. If your mom isn’t adamantly opposed to you getting new bras, then you can try asking for new bras as a birthday/graduation/etc present. Or save up any gift money you get on Diwali/Rakhi/Birthday to buy yourself a bra. Try getting someone else involved – a grandma, aunt, or family friend – who is more sympathetic may help as well, either to help you talk to your mom or to go shopping with you. However, after all of this, if your mother still won’t listen, I know it can be frustrating. The only thing to do now is look at the bright side, this is only a temporary situation! Hopefully (within a few years at most) you’ll either be able to purchase bras for yourself (you may move away because of college or a new job or because you’ll eventually start earning) – or your mom will come around after your insistent pestering. And once you start wearing comfortable, well-fitting bras, your mom may realize that maybe she could use a bra update, too! So stay positive!
Have you been through a similar situation? How did you tackle it? Feel free to share any other helpful tips for girls who find themselves in situations like the above.